Week 11

Time is passing so quickly! It’s already Week 11 OMG…

Today my group submitted our GEK1523 report. Finally a load off our backs! But the process of this assignment wasn’t enjoyable because there was some problem with the allocation of work within my group and one member totally social loafed.

I shall get a salad from the supermarket for supper later. I’ve not been eating supper for days because I don’t know where the snacks are, ever since mummy packed everything into cardboard boxes in preparation for the renovation.

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Officially 22!

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We had dinner at Saizeriya just now. Saizeriya is one of our favorite dinner places because the food served tastes good and the price is really affordable! With no GST and service charge, the price range is around $4.90 – $8.90 for a decent dinner. The usual dish we order is Chicken Doria – a must-try at Saizeriya. However, I felt that the one served at Cathay tasted better than the one we had today at Hougang One.

I like Chicken Doria because the meat sauce they use is a well-balanced combination of sweetness and some tanginess. I would recommend you to eat while it’s warm or the cream will taste rather heavy when it cools. I’ve also tried the squid ink pasta before, but it didn’t taste as good as the name sounds… it’s just black. noodles. no. more. no. less.

If you’re dining at Saizeriya, make sure to get a set meal as it comes with salad and free flow of drinks. I wonder what dressing they use for their salad because my sis and I LOVE it. We order the set meal only for the salad lol.

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Here’s a selca with my younger sis. She’s my bestest friend in this entire world. Although sometimes I think she nags a lot and there are days I just can’t stand her. I think she’s someone really special to me, as a sibling. She’s really good at aegyo and I think she’s really cute, sometimes I still treat her like a baby. She gave me a handmade card today, and she used her left hand to draw the card… and signed off as “2 year old Sarah”… SO CUTE OKAY

I love you meimei muacks muacks

I love you daddy and mummy for raising me up too. Muacks Muacks.

New Song Recommendations!

I was originally listening to MissA’s new song, Only You, on a playlist when this song played after that. Loved it the moment I listened to it!

A new song that played on the new playlist too. I love this kind of songs which are of a darker genre…

YES I’M ON THE DARK SIDE…. *SMIRKS*

Von is 22!!!

Von is 22!

I doubt anyone would remember my birthday since almost everyone relies on facebook notifications and I deactivated mine.

But

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Happy 22nd Birthday to myself!

I’ll probably be heading out for a simple dinner with my loved ones ^^

Since it’s 30th March today, I would recommend this song from UKISS – 0330! It was released a few years ago, on 30th March as the title suggests (:

yo listen up this is my tragic story
just the break in my heart

나 아직도 너를 지울 수 없어
자꾸자꾸 니가 생각나
니가 너무 보고 싶어
밤새 한숨도 잘 수 없어
내 맘 창문을 두드리는 빗소리
니가 떠나 버린 그자리
너무나도 그리워서
밤새 한숨도 잘 수 없어 난

빗길 비켜 지나가는 너의 뒷 모습
아무 것도 할 수 없는 나는 거듭
해서 매일 난 또 후회를 해 미안해
기도해 I want you to be back
I can’t 견딜 수 없어 네가
없는 하루니까 참을 수 없어 눈가에
눈물 흘러 내가
again 너를 잊을 수 있을까
언제까지 나는 이럴까

나 아직도 너를 지울 수 없어
자꾸자꾸 니가 생각나
니가 너무 보고 싶어
밤새 한숨도 잘 수 없어
내 맘 창문을 두드리는 빗소리
니가 떠나 버린 그자리
너무나도 그리워서
밤새 한숨도 잘 수 없어 난

오 이런 오늘밤도 오늘밤도 Her

밤새 너만 생각해 나는 잘 수 없어
why did i turn on this love show
너와 나의 사인 멀어졌어
내가 이 사랑의 하인이었어
Why did we fight 우린 왜 이랬는데
Did you lose the sight 우린 사랑했는데
내가 왜 이 순간 멈춰 있는데
바보야 내가 필요한 건 바로 너야

어깨가 축 늘어져 있는 너
한숨만 땅 꺼지게 쉬는 너
답답한 가슴만 탕탕 치는 너
두손 모아 하늘에게 기도 하는 너
일거라고 모습이 나는 상상이 가
우리 다 잊자 지우자 나쁜 기억들을 다
(I’m sorry) 너가 어떨지 알아
미안하단 말 밖에 할 수 없는 나

나 아직도 너를 지울 수 없어
자꾸자꾸 니가 생각나
니가 너무 보고 싶어
밤새 한숨도 잘 수 없어
내맘 창문을 두드리는 빗소리
니가 떠나 버린 그자리
너무나도 그리워서
밤새 한숨도 잘 수 없어 난

오 이런 오늘밤도 오늘밤도 Her

Y&I 우리의 끈 놓지마
don’t deny our r²π
내게 와 이제 다 괜찮아
다시 다시 다 모든걸 시작하는 거야

밤새 한숨도 잘 수 없어

나 아직도 너를 지울 수 없어
자꾸자꾸 니가 생각나
니가 너무 보고 싶어
밤새 한숨도 잘 수 없어
내맘 창문을 두드리는 빗소리
니가 떠나 버린 그자리
너무나도 그리워서
밤새 한숨도 잘 수 없어 난

Yo listen up, this is my tragic story,
just to break into my heart (check it)

I still cannot erase you
I keep thinking about you
I really miss you
I cannot sleep at all at night
The sound of the raindrops hitting on the window of my heart
The place that you left
I really miss you
And I cannot sleep at all at night

The view of your back, leaving me on this rainy road
Because I couldn’t do anything again,
I regret it again everyday. I’m sorry,
I pray, I want you to be back.
I can’t. I can’t stand it.
I cannot stand a day without you.
My tears are falling again.
Will I be able to forget you ?
When will I be like that till ?

I still cannot erase you
I keep thinking about you
I really miss you
I cannot sleep at all at night
The sound of the raindrops hitting on the window of my heart
The place that you left
I really miss you
And I cannot sleep at all at night

Oh tonight again, tonight again, her

I keep thinking of you at night, I cannot sleep
Why did I turn on this love show
The distance between us has increased
I was the servant of this love
Why did we fight ? Why were we like that ?
Did you lose the sight ? We used to be in love.
Why am I stuck in this moment ?
The one I need is you, silly.

You, drooping your shoulders
You, taking a rest on the ground
You, hitting your chest in frustration
You, praying to the heavens with your hands clasped
I think of you getting up.
Let’s forget and erase all our bad memories.
(I’m sorry) How would you ?
I cannot say anything besides ‘I’m sorry’.

I still cannot erase you
I keep thinking about you
I really miss you
I cannot sleep at all at night
The sound of the raindrops hitting on the window of my heart
The place that you left
I really miss you
And I cannot sleep at all at night

Oh tonight again, tonight again, her

You and I, don’t cut our cord.
Don’t deny our r²π
Come to me, everything is fine now.
We will start everything over, over again.

I cannot sleep at all at night

I still cannot erase you
I keep thinking about you
I really miss you
I cannot sleep at all at night
The sound of the raindrops hitting on the window of my heart
The place that you left
I really miss you
And I cannot sleep at all at night


walao on my birthday still need to do all this shit work. damn pissed off when people don’t do work.

Soon-to-be 22

22 years of my life

I’ve often thought of this question: What have I achieved?

Nothing.

The slump in my life has never improved.

I live each day without a goal. Just living each day as it is and trying to spend each day happily, without thinking too much about the unhappy things around me. I know I’m being delusional and all, trying to avoid and ignore all problems. But if that allows me to be happier, I think such a defensive mechanism could possibly work for me.

22 years of my life, the greatest thing that happened to be is being born into this family (oh gosh i’m tearing up right now). Even though most of the time they think that I’m a “family rebel” or a spoilt brat, I’m always so thankful to have my family members around…

I’m a person who doesn’t know how to express myself well, even my text messages are all without emoticons… my appearance also makes me look like i’m a cold and emotionless person, but in my heart, i’m a very sensitive person… very emotional… and I get homesick very easily! I can’t even think of going for exchange programmes ><

As I’m going to be 22 years old tomorrow, I hope that life will get better… especially my health… I have a very bad habit of sleeping late, but I’ll try to change that. I hope I can find my goal soon and work hard towards it.

Gastric…?

Last night I went to bed without eating supper because I wasn’t feeling very hungry and because my parents stored the usual snacks into boxes and stacked them up as we were having renovation works at home, so I couldn’t find food to eat.

It was when I was about to sleep that I felt a burning pain below my sternum, somewhere around the area where you get gastric pains I think? This was the 2nd time I have ever experienced in my life, the first one was when I was in secondary school and I broke out in cold sweat. The pain went off after around 15 minutes… thank goodness…. because i felt so horrible


I’m watching the live broadcast of Mr Lee Kuan Yew’s state funeral on youtube now. It’s raining heavily in Singapore – probably shedding tears for our late founding father. Screen Shot 2015-03-29 at 12.45.01 pm

My parents wanted to pay their respects to Mr Lee too, but the queue was too long (~8hours) so they couldn’t go. The state funeral will be held at UCC @ NUS today, but I think they won’t allow anyone to enter the venue, so we aren’t going there today. Probably just watching the live broadcast like I’m doing now.

R.I.P Mr Lee

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The sight of Singaporeans queueing up despite the rain makes me feel so touched…

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Just fired the first canon(?)


Oh daddy just sms-ed me… he said they’re at the parliament house now, all drenched.

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look at the crowd waving the Singapore flag

poor thing, so many old people have to stand for so long under the rain

Home Makeover

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D-3 of Renovation!

Last night I slept at 10pm because I was so tired! I think that was the earliest I’ve slept in 5 years???

It’s so troublesome having to wake up early in the morning to shower before the contractors arrive. The stove’s not ready yet, neither is the sink, so we can’t cook at home too.

Thank goodness the wifi was repaired today! The OpenNet guys didn’t charge us a single cent because they said since it was our first time, they’ll not charge us. How nice!


I’m watching Ep15 of Kill Me Heal Me now! The drama is getting sadder!!!! I’m still confused about Cha Dohyun’s and Oh Ri-jin’s birth parents though….?? Do-hyun’s grandmother said do-hyun is the only biological child but Min Seo Yeon’s child aka Oh Ri-Jin is also Do-hyun’s father’s child…? I hope there’s no incest going on lol….. but no one mentioned anything about incest, so maybe i’ve left out some details. I love Oh Ri-On’s character in the show! Especially his unwavering brotherly(?) love for his sister. I’ve always wanted to have an elder brother to protect me and dote on me, because it’s so tough being an elder sister! And my sis doesn’t respect me like how dongsaengs respect their unnies in korea, speaking in formal language and all…

On another note, my birthday is in 2 days’ time omg… I’m ageing!!!! SO!!!! QUICKLY!!!!!!

I used to love throwing parties at home and inviting my friends over, and receiving presents from them… but as I grew up, I’ve always wished I could go to the beach and just sit there doing nothing, and enjoying the sunset. That would be my ideal birthday… but I’ve never had a chance to go there. It’s either too hot, or raining, or that I have no mood to step out of my house. Sigh.

First night

Last night, we slept over at Hotel 81. My parents only booked one room with a double-bed and a single-bed ….. and there were 4 of us.

Thanks to my thrifty parents, all of us had to share that room… But they gave us the double-bed because my sister kicks around when she sleeps. In the end, my mom slept on the ledge near the window because the single-bed was too narrow for both my parents. I gave her my pillow because the ledge was really hard, but somehow in the middle of the night she placed the pillow under my head.

I couldn’t sleep throughout the entire night. I went to bed at 1.20am and plugged in my ear plugs because I hate hearing noises in hotels (and sometimes I would be scared by those noises). My sleep was rather shallow as I felt my sis curling up right behind me and her knees were prodding my spine… so I didn’t change my sleep position for the entire night. At 5am I woke up because Mummy went to the toilet… I’m really sensitive to motion and noise when I sleep. I removed my ear plugs in case I can’t hear the alarm in the morning, but Daddy was snoring SO LOUDLY. At last I gave up sleeping.

The bathroom at the hotel was also really tiny. Barely enough to fit a person.

Feeling really groggy this morning. Anyway I failed my calculus midterm. I expected a 0 or 3 out of 20marks, but I got a little higher than that because the teacher gave me 1mark for trying to attempt the question even though I didn’t know what to write at all. The girl beside me got around the same marks as me…. told you the paper was damn difficult!!!! Gave up on calculus completely. It’s just not my thing, yo….

Not sure if I should head home after school or stay in school to tap into the school’s wifi. I’m so tired, but if I go home, there’s no internet!!!!! *sobs*

Slave of Wifi

what!?!?! no wifi????!!!

That was my initial response when my mom told me that the construction workers cut off the wifi at home. As mentioned in my previous post, renovation works start today. This morning I had to wake up exceptionally early to shower and prepare for school because the construction workers will be arriving at 9am. Mom was in a PMS-ey mood this morning, she kept fussing us around — she was in a frenzy because there was so much to do — she had to cover up all the furniture at home with plastic sheets, and I had to climb onto chairs to stick the plastic sheets on the wardrobes.

Back to the wifi problem. Yes the construction workers chopped our fibre network off. GOOD JOB MAN. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITHOUT WIFI??????

AND I HAVE TO DO MY PROJECT WORK AND ALL…

Mom and Dad were like “just deal with it, what do you expect us to do?”

Maybe because I’m used to misfortunes all my life, I’m quite okay with it. I mean, there’s always a way out right? —- Which is to stay in school and mug my ass off, finish up my work, then head to the wifi-less home. Pathetic.

My sis was damn pissed off. Because she was already stressed to begin with. As a perfectionist and a hardcore Mugger cum Straight As student, she’s complaining about how the lack of wifi could affect her grades. I told her to do her work in school but she said she cannot concentrate in school. Oh well. The only thing I can say is… “too bad”. Too bad for us that the construction workers cut off our wifi by accident, and too bad that our parents are pretty nonchalant about this whole fiasco, and too bad all these happen during the busiest part of school term.

Now I’m at the hotel. My parents only booked a room so the 4 of us have to squeeze on a double+single bed. My parents gave us the double bed because my sis always sleeps in a 360-degrees way and she kicks around a lot so she needs the space. The bathroom is hella small. There isn’t even a proper hanging rack to hang my clean clothes. I’m not even planning to bathe tonight… (but i’ll bathe tomorrow morning… in 7 hours time lol…. hey i’m not dirty, I showered this morning! And I washed up just now!) The soap available here is for hair and body – wonder how that works…..

I’m getting such a bad feeling about this whole thing. The renovation works in the first place, was planned since last year but my fickle-minded parents are so indecisive (and superstitious – they consulted a fengshui master – I don’t believe in fengshui) and so the process of deciding when to start the renovation was delayed for about 3 months.

Aiya I’m damn sad these days. Don’t talk to me lol.

At a crossroad

operational-management-dilemma

Soon you’ll realize you’re nothing more than just a tiny person in this humongous world.

Even the things you do and were once proud of will seemingly become an average thing that everyone else could do, if not better.

It’s not about the upward comparison, but about how you see yourself. There’s always someone better than you out there.

So what’s the point of trying hard and doing your best?

Even researchers have suggested that having a definite goal is better than “I’ll try my best”.

The whole world seems to be contradicting itself at this moment. Even fate and destiny are playing dirty tricks on you. What your interest lies in may not be what you will excel in. What you do best may not be the best per se. What you want to do may not be what you eventually do.

When people say, “chase for your dreams” – What should you do when you don’t even have legs to begin with?

Even in Singapore, where meritocracy and democracy reigns in the society, what exactly is meritocracy? Rewarding people based on their achievement? — But don’t forget, everyone is born with a different family background. That is, the starting point is already different. For scholarships – do you know how much harder a poor person has to work just to get to the same spot as someone rich who can afford expensive tuition classes and assessment books? (I’m not referring to myself by the way) Yes, while it’s somewhat “fair” that people are rewarded for the effort they put in, regardless of their family background, but it’s the mere fact that family background already sets you on a different starting point.

I don’t understand about fairness in today’s society. And I’m even more sceptical about what the future brings me.